In women’s health, we talk a lot about the Female Athlete Triad: disordered eating (or chronic low energy), amenorreah (absence of menstruation), and osteoporosis. These issues, each clearly detrimental to a woman’s health, often appear in female athletes. Each issue is a red flag on its own, but unfortunately a woman often presents with all three.
But what about women who aren’t highly-trained athletes? Many of them are suffering from the Female Achievement Triad. These high-achieving women are dogged by three characteristics that actually hold them back from being their best selves.
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Alexandra Jamieson, author of Women, Food, and Desire, presented at the 2016 Women in Women’s Health conference in New York City. She spoke about how perfectionism, competition, and control limit women and negatively affect their health.
The Female Achievement Triad of perfectionism, competition, and control holds the lease on many women’s lives.
Regardless of what type of work you do, what your background is, or what your goals are, until you can release yourself from the grips of these issues, you are creating barriers to your wellness. These issue limit how productive you can be at work and at home. More importantly, however, they keep you stuck in a cycle of thinking your way is the best way.
WOW– That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself.
Perfectionism keeps women stuck
For many women, the roadblock of perfectionism stops them before they even get going. Because of the pressure to be perfect, we tend to research exhaustively and tell ourselves that the research is us being productive. It is, but only to a point. If we wait until all elements of our plan are in perfect alignment, we will never do anything.
Imperfect action is still action!
Do something. Learn from it. Adapt as necessary. Try again.
There is another way perfectionism holds many women hostage. Life in the age of Pinterest makes many women feel inept. Is your house isn’t perfectly decorated? Are your parties worthy of Martha Stewart? If not, that’s certainly a sign of a deep character flaw!
Do you hear how ridiculous that sounds? No one is meant to be perfect, especially not all the time! Don’t fall for the veneer of social media.
Competition robs us of the opportunity to be ourselves
Competition can be a powerful motivator, but when competition becomes about comparing one’s self to another, it is dangerous and unproductive. If you are a naturally competitive person (I’m raising my hand here!), how can you focus your tendencies to the positive?
I find giving myself challenges, whether through running or goal-setting, to be just as motivating as competing against someone else. Even if you don’t think you have a lot of time to plan your goals, taking time to think about yourself rather than others is a powerful mindset shift.
There is nothing more exciting than a woman who is herself. To see someone light up a room just because she is showing up as her authentic, best self is to be inspired. And the best part? There is no competition in the race to be yourself!
Theodore Roosevelt knew it, too, when he said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Who’s Really in Control?
The desire to control the outcomes of our everyday happenings and our dreams requires an inefficient energy expenditure.
Certainly, we can implement systems to make life more efficient. We should look for ways to streamline and eliminate the logistical minutae of everyday life. Doing so frees up energy for more exciting and productive work (or play!).
While we should work hard to control that which we can control, there is so much outside of our control. By coming to a place of acceptance regarding this fact, we can redirect our energy to be more productive. This is why education is paramount for women in perimenopause. Understanding what is happening with your physiology informs your thoughts and actions. It lets you know what to worry about and what to make peace with.
Giving up control also cycles back to the perfectionism tug– so many times we don’t want to release control, because we know we can do things faster and/or better than someone else. But sometimes good enough really is good enough.
This alternative triad– what I’m going to call the Female Achievement Triad– doesn’t come from the hard science of women’s health. It is, however, absolutely at the center of women’s wellness.
Until we can address these issues that are so deeply rooted into our ways of thinking that they affect every aspect of our being, we cannot take on the task of applying the hard science. To move forward into greater wellness, let’s ditch the Female Achievement Triad immediately. There’s too much good work to be done!
