Today’s guest post is by Courtney Harris, an Austin-based Life Coach for Teens and Parents.

Sitting with Self Care

If you’ve been anywhere on the internet today, you’ve, without a doubt, heard or read the words “self care.” This article is an invitation to reflect on your personal relationship to self care. There’s no right or wrong way to do self care, and the same goes for this reflection. This reflection is an opportunity to be with yourself and to continue the journey of knowing yourself more intimately. You might enjoy writing or drawing throughout this experience, so grab a notebook and pen before you dive in further.

First, I invite you to sit with the words self care. What does self care look like, sound like, and feel like? Express your ideas and thoughts by visualizing, using paper and pen, or any other way that feels good to you. Then, notice: What thoughts have come up for you? Relief? Resistance? Next, tune in to your body: What sensations are present?

There’s space here for all of it. For all of you. I encourage you to keep breathing and let anything that came up– named or unnamed– be here with you.

Our senses give us information, and in this moment, you have a catalog of information about your relationship to self care. Like you, this relationship is not static. Yet, today, these thoughts, feelings, and reactions are a real part of your experience.

4 Tips for Exploring Self Care

I like to define self care as any act or practice that helps you refill your tank. These are small, intentional actions that you do for yourself because they offer comfort, peace, soothing, joy, or something else you need. Again, there are no right or wrong ways to practice self care. And, still, as you reflect, it can be helpful to try on different lenses and considerations. Each day, you can become more and more familiar with your needs, preferences, and tools for refueling. Thus, I offer 4 tips for exploring self care, using the acronym SELF.

1. S– Say “no” unless it’s 100% “yes.” Give yourself permission to say no when you are not really feeling something, when it’s out of alignment, when you are too tired, when you just don’t like the offer, etc. This simple practice can be transformative. The moment you acknowledge that “no” is a valid, valuable, and often healing answer, you will see big shifts in your life. I encourage you to see every “no” as a “yes” to yourself, to your self care, and to your wellness. What else does saying “no” help you say “yes” to? Get curious and observant!

• E- Energy check-ins help determine next steps. It’s important to make time throughout the day, to Stop. Breathe. Feel. Notice what your energy is like. Check in with your heart, your mind, your body. You might like to give the feeling a name, and this list can help you through that process. For example, you say say, “My heart feels excited, my body feels uncomfortable, and my mind feels determined.” Another idea is to rate your energy on a scale of 1-10. Stay open and find a system for check-ins that works for you.

• L- Little practices matter. After you have checked in with your energy, follow up by asking yourself: “What do I need in order to feel comforted?” (You can change the word comforted to support, happy, peaceful, or any other feeling you want to achieve.) Or, “What do I need to move from a 4 to a 5?” Always keep in mind, that small growth is still growth, and the goal of self care is to support your growth. It can also be helpful to plan more time for transitions throughout your day; slowing down is a small practice that can have big impact. As you tune in more deeply to your practices, give yourself credit for the small acts that serve and refuel you!

• F- Focus on the “must dos;” then, let go. Sometimes your to-do list feels like a living organism with life of its own. Yet, it is within your power to let many of the items on this list go. Determine which tasks you have to do. Prioritize these, and allow unnecessary (at least for today) items go. We are often quite ambitious about productivity, we set big goals, and life demands a lot from us. Thus, it is– at least at first– a radical act of self care to release expectations and only do what is truly required of you. I invite you to notice how many items on your to-do you can let go of.

Life is Practice

I often remind myself and clients I work with that life is practice. We learn today so that we can do better tomorrow. As you step more deeply into your self care practices, remember that it’s a process. Just as you have a relationship with yourself and your loved ones, you have a relationship with self care. It takes times, attention, and dedication to nurture this relationship. Each time you show up for yourself and your practice, you are growing.

If you’d like to explore the ways self care connects to and informs your personal support system, sign up for this free downloadable guide. You are worthy of your self care, and I am happy to support you along the journey!

As a Life Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney helps young people get out of worry, isolation, and anxiety and into connection. Through coaching, tweens, teens, and young adults find their voice and grow confidence as they explore their sense of self and personal power. With a Master’s in Special Education, and 10 years of teaching experience, including Social and Emotional Learning, Courtney brings vast knowledge of the teenage brain and effective family interventions to her coaching practice. Ultimately, families who work with Courtney achieve improved communication, deeper trust, and greater peace. Stay connected with Courtney on her blog https://courtneyharriscoaching.com/, IG  https://www.instagram.com/courtneyharriscoaching/ , and FB https://www.facebook.com/courtneyharrisedconnect/