I hear it from clients and friends all the time: “I just wish I had more willpower!” Some people are referring to building a new healthy habit like regular exercise or eating more fruits and veggies. Others are wishing to eliminate a not-so-healthy behavior like smoking or eating sugar. Regardless, most of us hold the belief that if we just TRIED HARDER, we could be successful.
There it is: THE WILLPOWER MYTH.
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The problem with the willpower myth is that we are setting ourselves up for failure. If we believe that if we JUST TRY HARDER we’ll achieve what we want but then we fail, we’ve entered into a cycle of negative self- talk that is completely unproductive.
Here’s the reality: your body is working against you.
Most people need willpower the most at times when you are under the greatest stress. The problem is, when you are stressed, your body produces cortisol. Cortisol is a hormone that, among other things, interferes with the frontal cortex of the brain. The frontal cortex controls decision making.
Thus, at the same time you need to be making good decisions, cortisol is impairing your brain’s ability to do so.
What’s more, your brain under the influence of cortisol is BEGGING for comfort foods. Why? Most comfort foods are sugary, salty, or fatty. Consuming these types of food trigger the body to release the feel good hormones serotonin and dopamine. These hormones calm your nervous system and cortisol lowers.
So, what to do?
If we can acknowledge that there is a physiological component that contributes to our ability to make good decisions, that’s a great first step. It stops the negative self-chatter.
Then, we can start to assess how we behave as it intersects with the stresses and systems of everyday life. If we can change the inputs of what is creating the stress, we can help direct ourselves toward our desired outcome. Combine intellectual understanding with a renewed mental focus, and chances of success increase dramatically.
Set your Plan
How can you reframe your understanding of willpower to escape the trap of the myth?
Check into what the physiological factors are that may be contributing challenges to your progress. What can you change? I always suggest changing only ONE thing at a time—behavior change requires focus for the new patterns to imprint and become second nature. After you’ve nailed one change, reassess your situation and see what other tweaks need to be made.
For example, if you want to increase the amount of exercise you get, block off time in your schedule twice a week for 30 minutes. This way, you have made an appointment with yourself (your most important client!). You won’t be frantic and rushed to try to fit in a workout while buffering competing demands of work and family.
Or, perhaps you are working to improve your eating. If you know you have a late afternoon chocolate attack every day, head it off at the pass by eating a protein-rich snack around 2pm. This will likely diminish the cortisol-triggered desire for chocolate later.
By confronting one change at a time, you’ll start to see the measurable progress you’re hoping for. Having feedback you can measure—like a simple chart of days you achieve your desired result– will bolster your commitment to your journey. Soon you’ll see the snowball effect of positive change, and you’ll be on your way to a life of greater wellness.
The willpower myth no longer needs to hold sway over your thoughts or behavior patterns. And understanding of how your brain and body work together means you can set yourself up for sustainable success.
